The truth. I hate not knowing it. Not knowing the truth is suspenseful, harsh, and therefore, can bring out the worst in me. I'm sure it's that way for many of you as well. The suspense of not knowing what the doctor will say, not knowing your test grade, or not knowing what that potential boyfriend or girlfriend's answer will be.
No matter how extreme the issue, it sucks to not know the truth.
I have always considered myself a Christ follower. Since my earliest recollection I've done my best to make God the center of my life, and His Word, the determining factor in my everyday decisions. My teenage years were a roller-coaster ride in my spiritual life, not because I wavered in my belief in Jesus as my Saviour, but because I failed to make God the head of my life in every arena. There were many times that I let my personal desire for sinful things overtake my desire to say yes to God. I've realized that I can't waver like this. The road is narrow, and I've got to stay on it. You'd be surprised how clearly you hear God's voice when you begin to have the self-control to say yes to God and no to sin. Does that mean I should never screw up? No. I screw up everyday. I'm just at the place now that I'm doing all I can to follow Christ and stay away from sin.
With that being said, the good news isn't that Christ came, died, and rose again so that I can live life the way I want to and not go to hell. The good news is that: I don't have to live life under the bondage of sin.
You see? Sin prohibits us from seeing the truth. And if we ever did our honest to God best to stay away from it, then we could see things the prophets longed to see but never did. Matthew 13:10-11 says this:
10 The disciples came to him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”
11 He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.
Now, Jesus is speaking to the disciples here. The disciples "genuinely followed Christ." This doesn't mean that they didn't screw up. They were genuine followers of Christ though, that did everything within their power to live right and this opened them to truths and mysteries of the kingdom that were beyond their wildest dreams.
For a long time in my life, during those teenage years, I heard all the stories of the Bible and I heard the teaching of some good, Christ-following men. But I never understood anything of depth. Sure, I understood the ten commandments and stuff like that, but there was no getting to the deep stuff because I had let sin take a hold in my life and I let addictions take over. My inability to let go of sin and genuinely follow Christ prohibited me from seeing the meat of the Word of God. A perfect passage to explain what I'm trying to get across can be read in Matthew 13:14-15:
14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 15 For this people’s heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.
In conclusion, I think we all hate not knowing the truth. It set me free when I finally realized the only thing keeping from it was myself and my inability to say no to sin and yes to God. Again, the good news is not that I can live the way I want because of the sacrifice of Christ, but rather that because of the sacrifice He made, I don't have to live life under a bondage of sin. I've seen the truth and it's indescribable. That's how awesome it is. Don't choose to go on with meaningless worldly pleasures. Choose to say yes to Christ and a life layed down for Him.
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